A Time of Brokenness Pt. 2

I know a lot of people say that the Lord won't give us more than we can handle. I don't agree with that. If He gave us only what we could handle, why would we need Him? What would draw us into the safety of His embrace and cause us to be more dependent on Him? Nothing. When people can handle every situation on their own, they become self-sufficient and rely only on themselves.

This past year, He allowed one situation after another that overwhelmed me. Did I try to handle it myself? Of course. Time and again. Did it work? Haha.....no. Usually only made things worse ;P. But because of that, I was forced to look to a source other than myself.

I will admit, God wasn't the one I turned to first. I'm a very independent person, and like doing things on my own. I guess in a way, I like proving to myself that I can solve situations on my own. So, I went to other sources before I went to God. And again, epic fail. I ended up hurting more people, hurting them more deeply, making the chaos more chaotic, and allowing myself to spiral into more confusion and depression.

Overall, I couldn't handle a single thing that was in my path, on my own.

I feel like an Israelite sometimes. In their case, God proved Himself faithful time and time again. Yet, they still doubted. In my case, God proves Himself faithful time and time again. Yet, I still doubt.

I'm trying to learn to doubt less. To just give things to Him immediately instead of going about it the hard way. It's easier said than done. At least for me it has been. The amazing thing is though, no matter how many times I've doubted, or done something my own way, He hasn't given up on me. Even when I give up on myself, He's still always right there. Waiting for me to finally run to Him.